Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
