Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I think my moral compass just broke
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize