R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
