What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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