im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize