i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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