is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
