Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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