i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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