The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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