My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
