names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
