I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My bed smells like the plague
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize