I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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