sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
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I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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