my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
one might say we're banned from that church
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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