it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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