The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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