How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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