you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
