Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
