One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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