dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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