I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
