And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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