Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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