We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i would punch a child for taco bell
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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