she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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