ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
