Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
