alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
