This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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