Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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