well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
