I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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