You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
