i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
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i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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