So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?