3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
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He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.