You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I believe in your delicious
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
