So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
