Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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