next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
