hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize