Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
