I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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