so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
