im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
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Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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