i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
