This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
