Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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