so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The power of my boobs compel you
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
