Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
They took my balls.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
