Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
