Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
