When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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