in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
