Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I didn't notice because vodka
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
