I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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