I want to have your abortion
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize