I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize