He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Who died my cat blue again?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
